Coping with the loss of your pet

Pets are part of our families. So, naturally, losing them brings to the surface that same sort of grief we experience when we lose a human relative or close friend. 

We’re here for every phase of life’s journey with your pet, which is why we’re sharing some of the ways you can care for yourself throughout the grieving process. 

It’s important to know how to support your other pets as they cope with the loss of a beloved family member, too.

Giving yourself time to grieve

Accept the wide range of emotions you’re likely to feel in reaction to your pet’s passing, from anger and confusion to sadness and disbelief. 

Allow yourself to feel however you need to, in order to process your loss. But remind yourself that the reason you’re feeling so strongly is because of the special bond you shared with your pet – which is something to celebrate as you remember them. 

Make sure you take some time out of your daily routine to process your loss – if you feel that’s helpful. Alternatively, fill your time with hobbies or activities you enjoy, which could help to lift your spirits as you manage your feelings. Each of us will grieve in different ways, so it’s essential to find the best route to follow for you. 

Get outside if you can

Try to get outside to take in the fresh air, rustling trees, and birdsong. Nature and exercise can be helpful because it can help put grief into a wider perspective, whereas sitting at home offers too much opportunity to focus on the fact your treasured pet is no longer there.

Talk to someone about your loss

It can be healing to share your story with someone else, whether that be a friend, relative, or trained bereavement counsellor. Should you struggle to talk to those you know or can’t access the services of a bereavement counsellor, there are specialist pet bereavement services available, including:

• Blue Cross’ Pet Loss Support is available via phone, email, and live chat.
• Cats Protection’s Paws to Listen is available by phone or contact form.
• Living with Pet Bereavement is available for support via phone. 
• Samaritans are available to contact at any time through phone, email, live chat, by letter, or face-to-face.
• British Horse Society’s (BHS) Friends at the End is available on the phone, through email, or via the BHS social media channels.

If you find that losing your dog or cat has made it difficult to face your everyday life, it’s time to speak to your GP and seek additional support.

Remembering your pet

Just as grieving is a unique process for each person, remembering a beloved best friend we’ve lost is an individual experience, too.

A few of the ways you may want to remember your pet include:

• Having a keepsake made from their collar, blanket, or other item.
• Creating a photobook full of great memories and magical moments you’ve captured over the years.
• Purchasing a piece of jewellery or an ornament that reminds you of your pet, e.g. a necklace with their name on it or a personalised pawprint plaque.
• Lighting a special candle each year to celebrate the day they joined your family.
• Planting a tree in your garden or through a charity in memory of them.

One of the most saddening aspects of losing our best friend is dealing with the unknown. Here’s a quote we hope might help you through this difficult time:

“Picture a wave in the ocean. You can see it, measure it, its height, the way sunlight refracts when it passes through. And it’s there. You can see it; you know what it is. It’s a wave. And then, it crashes on the shore, and it’s gone. But the water is still there. The wave was just a different way for the water to be for a little while. The wave returns to the ocean, where it came from and where it’s meant to be.” – Chidi Anagonye (a character from Netflix series The Good Place.)

We can take great comfort in knowing that no-matter where they are after their body’s story has ended, our pet is still with us through the memories we shared. They’ll forever be part of our story – and we can carry their memory with us wherever we go.   

Helping your dog cope with the loss of their companion

Leave your lost pet’s bed, blankets, and food dish where they are while your dog comes to terms with losing their friend.

Take your dog out for lovely, long walks to let them explore and give them plenty of time learn to navigate the world without their friend by their side. 

Try to maintain your normal routines, as much as possible, and offer your dog as much affection as they need. 

Keep an eye on your dog’s behaviour and contact a vet if you’re concerned.

Helping your cat cope with the loss of their companion

Your cat may cope better with loss if you leave their friend’s things out for them to interact with and continue with normal routines where you can. 

Though it’s tempting to adopt another pet right away, you need to allow your cat time to grieve for their lost friend before introducing a new dog or cat.

Speak to a vet if you’re worried your cat isn’t coping with the loss of your pet. 

For advice about supporting children with losing your family dog or cat, please visit our article about helping your children deal with the loss of a pet.